[The Listserve] "Remember that time you confused a life lesson for a soul mate?"

Trish
10/25/2017
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1.) 2015. Living with a man I loved more than anyone I’ve ever loved. Wasn't perfect, but the level of happiness & joy I felt with him was special. After 4 years together, 2 cohabiting, he proposed in the house I grew up in, on his birthday, “the best gift I could ever give him was to spend the rest of my life with him”. I said yes! He had driven 2 hours to ask my parents for their approval, met separately with my 3 brothers, & took our moms & 2 of my closest friends ring shopping. He threw me a surprise 30th bday party & we went on a cruise! Planned the entire wedding, put deposits down & bought my dress. 2 days later, I found out he had been cheating on me for 3 months w/coworker. We went to therapy. I found out his happiness had been a front & he wasn’t communicating the issues he had w/our relationship. He ended things with her&wanted to stay with me. After 29 days of trying to figure out what to do, I found texts. He never ended things w/her. I kicked him out of my house & haven’t seen him since. I went from one of the highest points in my life, engaged, planning wedding, to single & heartbroken all w/in 7 months. I can’t begin to explain the shambles of my life in 15-16. 2 years later, I am no longer the same person as I was & I have him to thank. I put in work & am a stronger human in mind, body & heart

2.) Advice. I hope it helps!

Find a therapist. If you need someone to talk to about life or you need someone to check in with weekly to make sure you are fiixing yourself. DO IT NOW!

Rely on friends & family. When crying myself to sleep at night & someone texted to check-in, I never lied & told them I was ok. I showed my raw emotions. May scare some away, but the ones who love you will stay & will help you heal. One day, you will do the same for them when you are able to be a giver again

Say yes to life. 2015-17 I traveled! I said yes when I wanted to say no. Skydiving? HELL YES. Face your fears & do it anyway. This is how you grow

Numbing pain is temporary fix & ends up causing more pain. Feel it & deal w/it, you’ll work through it faster than numbing & pushing it down. Pushed down feelings will manifest themselves in bad ways later. It will cause more pain & hurt to yourself & others (just ask my ex fiance)

Trust your gut. It will rarely fail you. Red flags? You’re probably seeing them because subconsciously you know something is wrong

Some of the hardest things in life are those that are never explained; when your questions of why don’t get answered & you have to learn to be okay with that

More listening & less talking. Not everything requires comment.

3.) I love:
Podcasts
Terrible Thanks For Asking
Guys We F*cked
My Favorite Murder
The Moth

Books
Rising Strong
Daring Greatly
It's Okay to Laugh

Other:
Best leggings,ever. Made in US.
Four Athletics (google it) & use code “trisho15” for 15% off. I don't get anything from this, but happy to give a discount
TheSkimm. If you contact me I’ll send referral link. TheSkimm is a free email that includes a skimming of the most important news. It helps me stay up to date with what’s going on in the world. I’m 2 people away from a free shirt!

Trish
Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania
listservtrish@gmail.com

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